Dear Lady,
Please Avoid Using These Words On Your Husband:
1. "YOU SHOULD MAN UP."
If your intention is to challenge him to be better, these are not the words to use. These words make him feel undermined and belittled.
2. "BEAT ME IF YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH."
Don't provoke him. Don't test him. Don't dare him. Don't put you and him in a situation where you both say or do ugly things.
3. "YOU ARE SUCH A MAMA'S BOY."
Even if you think he is accommodating his mother too much, saying this makes him feel you are attacking his mother. His mom will always be his mom. Find a way of honoring his mother as you pull him closer to you to build as a couple. Correct him without insulting his relationship with his mother.
4. "F*CK YOU."
Curse words communicate disrespect. Hold & bridle your tongue.
5. "GROW UP SOMETIMES."
This, similar to "Grow some balls" makes him feel you see him as a boy. You can inspire him to greatness without making him feel you are looking down on him.
6. "MY FRIENDS WERE RIGHT ABOUT YOU."
This communicates you are gossiping about him and you value more what others say about him than the man you personally know him to be.
7. "I REGRET MARRYING YOU."
In moments of anger, don't speak words that sow seeds of doubt in him. Communicate your disappointment in his specific actions without putting into question what you two have built all these time.
8. "YOU DON'T SATISFY ME IN BED."
Don't mock his sexual performance in bed and still want the same man and same penis to satisfy you in future. Men make love with their heart and their ego. When you praise the little he does right to please you, he will seek to do more to pleasure you.
9. "WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE OTHER MEN?"
Don't compare him with other men. He is unique. Speak to his individual identity. Comparison is a self esteem killer.
10. "DID YOU EVEN GO TO SCHOOL?"
Don't mock his intellect, especially if you have more formal education than him. You get nothing positive out of bringing a man down. Remember there was a time you used to admire him, speak to that man in him.
11. "I AM WEARING THE PANTS IN THIS HOUSE."
Don't make him feel useless or his position undermined. He will withdraw and pull away. When a man feels unappreciated, he puts little effort.
12. "YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER."
Why become his worst critic? These are not words that should come out of a life partner.
13. "I SHOULD HAVE MARRIED ANOTHER MAN."
Why hit him below the belt. If you are done with him, leave him for good; instead of remaining in the marriage, praying for the marriage yet inside the marriage you are attacking him.
Lady, your biggest ammunition is your tongue. Your biggest encouragement to your husband, are your words and tone.
Lastly, It would be unfair not to address the root cause of these things in marriage, so dear men/husbands, A woman can't be your peace when you're her pain. While you desire a woman who will give you peace of mind, please be a man that deserves peace of mind, because some of you are wicked and there's no peace for the wicked.
Written by: Peter D'Rock
Tags:
Relationships